the waltzer experience :w: 

Empowering the Internet generation.

week 105 : 29 January 2001

Recruitment ad: Michael, Susan, Jay.

We're recruiting! Join Michael, Susan and Jay in building a world leading company...

 :w:

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Jay: to himself:
"You haven't been drinking enough at all."

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WALTZER
The Waltzer Experience is a weekly culture website about the office antics of interest to graphic designer/writer/web guru/photographer, Alan Wall.

 News

Jay, Michael, Susan star in company ad

Jay designs users Dublin - The big story around the office last Friday was the recruitment ad starring Jason Power, Susan Boyd and Michael O'Reilly. The half-page ad reads "We have built the world's leading e-learning company" on the banner, and continues "We want you to join us." The ad then lists the positions that are available.

Brandon Lee lookalike Of course, as soon as the ad appeared, there was a litany of doctored versions mailed around, including a "separated at birth" featuring Brandon Lee and Jay, by Peter Moyter, and an "I design the users" by Dave Manzor, which also features Jay.

Michael said he was "involuntarily chosen" for the shoot, which took place on Herbert Street, just off Baggot Street. Mike also said that "it seemed like a lot of work [three hours], especially since I'm out of focus!" When asked how he felt when he saw the ad, he left me with "it's always funny to see yourself in print." Indeed.

Jay Said he was scared when he opened the Times on Friday morning. He thought he looked evil in the shot. But jay acknowledged that he "deserves a lot of slagging" for the ad.

Susan Was good enough to grant me a short interview about the ad. I had to go through her agent now that she is a big famous star, the official word being that she won't get out of bed for less than 10,000!

Waltzer: How did you feel about being chosen for the ad?
Susan: I nearly died when I was chosen because I refused to put my name down for it when my boss asked me to, and only gave in when Mairead came up to my desk the next day and emotionally blackmailed me into it. She went with the "sure you won't get picked" routine, and seeing as I was looking especially knackery (even for me) on the day, I decided that I'd give in to get her (almost literally) off my back. My boss rang me up at about 5 and went "oh shit", so I said "ha ha, you've been picked haven't you" cos he went up to the photographer at the same time as me, and he said "yeah, and so have you." AARGH!

Waltzer: How did you feel this morning when you opened the paper and saw it?
Susan: I didn't look at it this morning and only got a good goo at it on my way out for lunch, and I thought "eurgh"! Everyone had been saying to me that they didn't think that it looks like me, and to be honest, it doesn't... I never look that serious! I think I was probably trying not to laugh at the time cos you'd have to do a smiley face and then a serious one, which was too much for my poor facial muscles, which are FAR too used to "inane grin" mode! The girl who sits opposite me said that she's never seen me look so serious and said that it didn't look like me cos I have my mouth closed... that says it all really!

Waltzer: How do you respond to the critics that are saying "sex sells" and that's why you are so prominent in the ad?
Susan: The reason for the positioning in the ad is because it's based on an ad that they used in the past - which has a woman in the centre and 2 men in the background (in the same ABBA-type pose). Next week's ad will have a man in the centre (my boss Finbarr) and two women (Louise Lynch and Paula Hayes) in the background, so we're going for non-sexist equal-opportunity stuff here!

Last year

Susan and Fionnuala Web - This time last year, the Waltzer Experience was in it's second week with week 05 of the year. Susan Flynn, one of my old Navan friends, was 21, and public transport was wrecking my buzz.

 News

Al's play reviewed
By Paul Little

Alan Nuzum It can sometimes be a strange thing to see your colleagues out of work time, say with their families. However, it can be even stranger to see them at play, or in a play even. Such was the case on Thursday evening when I was among a number of Business House crew who headed south down Dun Laoighaire way to see our own Alan Nuzum in the Dalkey Players' show Dark of the Moon.

I've recently seen a couple of amateur productions and have been struck by the amount of work that must go into such operations. In this case, a cast of 20-odd put on a fine show in nearly every way. However, as ever with amateur efforts in any discipline, the quality of the performances was a little uneven, ranging from the excellent to the poor. However, special mention must go to Alan, largely because I did not have a program so I don't know the other names, but also because he excelled.

The play was set in the Deep South and was a typical boy witch falls in love with girl, wants to be a man, strikes a bargain, gets married, falls foul of bible-bashing locals type of affair. Alan played Hank, an important man in the community who lusts after the girl the witch marries - no change there then. Hank is a bit of a bad egg. A cross between the yokel character Cletus in the Simpsons and Alan Nuzum himself. Clearly, our man brought all his experience of a lifetime growing up in Wicklow to bear on his character. It must have been easy for him to slip into the role.

While there were other strong performances, particularly the local preacher, all eyes focused on Hank/Alan - the strongest man in the valley - and he did not disappoint. If you happen to run into him in the corridor and he challenges you to "wrastle," run away.

Well done Mr. Nuzum.

Ciara carded in US bar

Ciara O'Farrell Scottsdale - Ciara O'Farrell was about to enjoy a social night out on a recent trip away, (more to the point a few Margaritas after a long day's work!) when a straight laced bar tender asked her for ID. Ciara laughed initially, assuming her 32 years would have given her away as being over 21, the legal drinking limit in the US.

After a futile attempt to persuade the bar man that she was in fact, over 21, Ciara had to resort to drinking lemonade for the duration of the night.

Ciara says, "Initial flattery quickly gave way to depression. Virgin Margaritas just don't have the same appeal! But it seems to be a widespread predicament - sources say, Dermot Cooney was recently carded in Atlanta. Is this a record?"

 That Wrecks Me Buzz

Getting old
By Claire O'Connell

On the 15th of January 2001, I reached 30 years of age. This, in itself, is no big deal. Thirty years is just an arbitrary measurement of what we call time, based on our position in the cosmos. And as numbers go, 30 is a comforting one: rotund, bustling, even matronly.

The problem that I do have with my advancing age is the attendant physical degeneration: the silent appearance of grey hairs, the ridged skeins of cellulite (Amen sisters), the solidifying waistline and the plummeting level of alcohol tolerance. The latter was recently demonstrated by my inability to drink three pints of stout of an evening without keeling over in a dribbling stupor, then spending the following two days in a ridiculous state of cranial tenderness.

Now that I'm supposedly more mature and world-wary, I try to see these bodily malfunctions as badges of honour, as tributes to the excesses of my life-testing twenties. Like passport stamps and visas, they afford me a safe passage through the departure gate to my thirties - they are evidence that I have earned the right to an emotional rest and a few love handles.

However, as I look back on my twenties, I note that the signs of aging started around 27. This is exactly the same time that I gave up the frenetic aerobics sessions, sweat-soaked circuit training classes and marathon dawn swims for more leisurely pursuits like falling asleep in front of ER with hubby and a bottle of white wine for company. So maybe I'm not getting old, just lazy.

Now that wrecks me buzz.

 

 

 Wage Slave

  Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall. Image of company ad is used for news purposes only.