the
waltzer experience
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waltzer experience |
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week 109 : 26 February 2001 |
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Galway to take place in Killarney Killarney - Preparations are underway to host a ridiculously
large party for our annual Galway retreat. Hotels, pubs and restaurants
are already ordering in the extra tequila and wine in anticipation of
the 22-24th April weekend.
The company just announced the official dates and location
on Friday, but sources close to The Waltzer Experience have been confident
of the date and location for a number of weeks.
Following last year's
debauchery, the crew are looking forward to a replay of the weekend's
excitement, particularly the KW crew who were fresh in last year, but
now are well integrated. In addition, everyone vows not to go to any meetings
and instead to enjoy the biggest fried breakfast possible.
The company is expected to make an official announcement
regarding the eagerly anticipated party sometime this week.
Designers night out: Rajoot Tandoori
Dublin - House designers were treated to what was described
as a "mediocre" meal in the Rajoot Tandoori restaurant on Clarendon
Street. The night got off to a typical start, with some of the crew showing
up over half and hour late.
The drink was flowing well, but there wasn't the usual
desire to stay and get drunk like last week's session. While many left
to get their last busses, others played it cool and hit RiRa, the elusive
club famed for it's mysterious ability to wipe most people's memory of
where it is, no matter how many times they've been there.
Possibly the most interesting part of the event was the
ridiculous times people were coming into work the next day. I spotted
two unnamed crew wandering in as I went to lunch, and one guy came in
at about 2.00. I'd say the design productivity that day was somewhere
about 30%! Nothin' to do with me, mind.
Last year
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Power cuts engineered to boost staff morale*
Office
- In a shock revelation, senior management have admitted that they ordered
the shutting down of power to the building on Monday at 4.00.
Managers were warned in advance of the power cut so they
wouldn't lose any important work, but floor staff and middle management
were taken by surprise when the power stalled and cut out. Management
believed that cutting the power would "increase staff morale" as without
a computer, people resort to traditional communication and entertainment
such as talking to each other.
"One hour of chilling out with your [pod] members can
have a positive effect for up to a month", said one of the top-level bosses
in a secret meeting which was held on the mysterious 5th floor. "And if
we have it from 4 to 5, no-one will go home but they'll enjoy hoping that
the electricity shortage will allow them an early departure that day."
But legal eagles on the Waltzer payroll say that "It's
illegal to allow the public into an unheated building," and that the chance
of them getting away with such a subliminal ulterior motive for cutting
power in future is "very slim."
Designers forget to take tea break
Clonskeagh - An unusual chain of events led to three
designers forgetting to take their normal 4.00 tea break.
New complex templates were to blame for Trish,
Waltzer and Isobel's forgetting to take their break until 4.40.
Witnesses who saw the three dizzy designers stumble into
the canteen at an obviously late hour said that they "couldn't believe"
that the designers were only arriving at that stage, having got used to
designers being finished in the canteen by 4.30, the traditional "safe
time" for non-designers to have a chat in peace.
Despite the lateness of the break, the designers still
managed to talk shite, noting that one of the Compaq bus drivers looks
like Santy, and debating whether to go to the pub or not.
Design manager
Kevin is to have a quiet word with Research and Development this week to ensure that future
templates are easier to use and don't engage the user to such an extent
as to make them lose track of time. |
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Don't Wreck Me Bike! Having your bike nicked is a depressingly common occurrence
in Dublin, this year alone I’ve had two bikes nicked and one beaten into
a pile of wreckage while chained to the railings in UCD. Some might call
this situation unlucky, to become a victim of such mindless vandalism
and theft, but I call it a typical case of "that wrecks me buzz".
It’s hard to decide which is more frustrating, knowing that someone is
happily cycling around on the muched loved bike which they illegally procured
from my good self, or seeing the pile of spokes and frame smashed to bits
by the railing, knowing that it will never see the red cycle paths of
Ranelagh ever again.
I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this
week's column to the memory of my three lovely bicycles and may whoever
is cycling around on my most recent loss come to a sudden stop and land
in a very uncomfortable way on the crossbar.
Now that wrecks me buzz.
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Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall. Wage Slave © 2001 Philip Barrett. *Some stories may be fabricated, some stories may be true but overwritten. What company is it anyway?
In
The
summer's on its way and we're getting back into the happy buzz, it's even
getting to the stage where it’s possible to cycle into work every day
without getting relentlessly pissed on by those wonderful 'soft days'.
So it's all good and seems like nothing's going to wreck me buzz when,
much to my dismay, somebody nicks my bike.