the waltzer experience :w: 

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week 109 : 26 February 2001
Orla Stephen Dave, Kevin, Peter Chocolate Moose
Sarah, Siobhan
Design night out, Rajoot Tandoori: Clickable! Liam, Andy, Jay, Kieran, Orla; Stephen; Dave, Kevin, Peter; Sarah, Siobhan; Moose.
Moose: On new prices in the vending machine
"I could probably [afford to] buy the whole vending machine, but I won't pay 5p extra for a bar."

Editors hold up production
"Less is more" – Designer
Chicken sold out in Pierre's

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The Waltzer Experience is a weekly underground culture web site which is viewed by lots of people in the House. If you have too much time on your hands you can send me your Wrecks Me Buzz, Top 10, news stories or whatever, to

Alan Wall is a graphic designer for a big web company and the MD of a small web company. His other interests include photography, web design and writing.


Galway to take place in Killarney

Sarah as a Mad Hatter

Killarney - Preparations are underway to host a ridiculously large party for our annual Galway retreat. Hotels, pubs and restaurants are already ordering in the extra tequila and wine in anticipation of the 22-24th April weekend.

The company just announced the official dates and location on Friday, but sources close to The Waltzer Experience have been confident of the date and location for a number of weeks.

Following last year's debauchery, the crew are looking forward to a replay of the weekend's excitement, particularly the KW crew who were fresh in last year, but now are well integrated. In addition, everyone vows not to go to any meetings and instead to enjoy the biggest fried breakfast possible.

The company is expected to make an official announcement regarding the eagerly anticipated party sometime this week.

Designers night out: Rajoot Tandoori

Dublin - House designers were treated to what was described as a "mediocre" meal in the Rajoot Tandoori restaurant on Clarendon Street. The night got off to a typical start, with some of the crew showing up over half and hour late.

The drink was flowing well, but there wasn't the usual desire to stay and get drunk like last week's session. While many left to get their last busses, others played it cool and hit RiRa, the elusive club famed for it's mysterious ability to wipe most people's memory of where it is, no matter how many times they've been there.

Possibly the most interesting part of the event was the ridiculous times people were coming into work the next day. I spotted two unnamed crew wandering in as I went to lunch, and one guy came in at about 2.00. I'd say the design productivity that day was somewhere about 30%! Nothin' to do with me, mind.

Last year

CarolineIn last years site, view pictures of beautiful models (taken by The Waltzer, no less), read why shaving wrecks me buzz, learn about my old DJ days, and laugh at my feeble attempt to impersonate Ali-G.



Power cuts engineered to boost staff morale*

Office - In a shock revelation, senior management have admitted that they ordered the shutting down of power to the building on Monday at 4.00.

Managers were warned in advance of the power cut so they wouldn't lose any important work, but floor staff and middle management were taken by surprise when the power stalled and cut out. Management believed that cutting the power would "increase staff morale" as without a computer, people resort to traditional communication and entertainment such as talking to each other.

Pictured are bored crew Dee, Ciara and Aisling.

"One hour of chilling out with your [pod] members can have a positive effect for up to a month", said one of the top-level bosses in a secret meeting which was held on the mysterious 5th floor. "And if we have it from 4 to 5, no-one will go home but they'll enjoy hoping that the electricity shortage will allow them an early departure that day."

But legal eagles on the Waltzer payroll say that "It's illegal to allow the public into an unheated building," and that the chance of them getting away with such a subliminal ulterior motive for cutting power in future is "very slim."

Designers forget to take tea break

Clonskeagh - An unusual chain of events led to three designers forgetting to take their normal 4.00 tea break.

New complex templates were to blame for Trish, Waltzer and Isobel's forgetting to take their break until 4.40.

Witnesses who saw the three dizzy designers stumble into the canteen at an obviously late hour said that they "couldn't believe" that the designers were only arriving at that stage, having got used to designers being finished in the canteen by 4.30, the traditional "safe time" for non-designers to have a chat in peace.

Despite the lateness of the break, the designers still managed to talk shite, noting that one of the Compaq bus drivers looks like Santy, and debating whether to go to the pub or not.

Design manager Kevin is to have a quiet word with Research and Development this week to ensure that future templates are easier to use and don't engage the user to such an extent as to make them lose track of time.

 That Wrecks Me Buzz

Don't Wreck Me Bike!
By Isobel de Mangeat

IsobelThe summer's on its way and we're getting back into the happy buzz, it's even getting to the stage where itís possible to cycle into work every day without getting relentlessly pissed on by those wonderful 'soft days'. So it's all good and seems like nothing's going to wreck me buzz when, much to my dismay, somebody nicks my bike.

Having your bike nicked is a depressingly common occurrence in Dublin, this year alone Iíve had two bikes nicked and one beaten into a pile of wreckage while chained to the railings in UCD. Some might call this situation unlucky, to become a victim of such mindless vandalism and theft, but I call it a typical case of "that wrecks me buzz".

Itís hard to decide which is more frustrating, knowing that someone is happily cycling around on the muched loved bike which they illegally procured from my good self, or seeing the pile of spokes and frame smashed to bits by the railing, knowing that it will never see the red cycle paths of Ranelagh ever again.

I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this week's column to the memory of my three lovely bicycles and may whoever is cycling around on my most recent loss come to a sudden stop and land in a very uncomfortable way on the crossbar.

Now that wrecks me buzz.



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Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall. Wage Slave © 2001 Philip Barrett. *Some stories may be fabricated, some stories may be true but overwritten. What company is it anyway?