the waltzer experience :w: 

Makes you a better person

week 113 : 26 March 2001

Mark Jordon:
"Nothin' like a pint of Black and a Marlboro calm the auld pre-flight nerves, yeeha!"

All back to mine
"Stapler out of staples" - writer
Man proposes by text message

Wage Slave
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The Waltzer Experience is a weekly underground culture magazine which is viewed by lots of people in the House. If you have too much time on your hands you can send me your Wrecks Me Buzz, Top 10, news stories or whatever, to

Alan Wall is a graphic designer who's into photography, web design and writing. And he's annoyed that when there is no news in the company it reflects badly on him.


Viv sends pictures from Oz

Viv in contemplative mode Australia - The Juggler seems to be having a good time down under, judging by the photographs he sent up. The long awaited images portray Viv enjoying the crack with the Swords massive. Unfortunately no text was sent with the photos other than "Fuck you Hotmail", in response to hotmail's refusal to transmit the images on the first attempt.

This week last year

Fireworks over DublinIn last year's Waltzer Experience I have a cool photograph of Ulster Bank on the Quays with the St. Patrick's festival fireworks in the sky. Other stuff of interest is my "Clonskeagh Uncovered," my first impression of the place (I like it now, I hasten to add!).


Canteen changes sauce from Heinz to YR

Clonskeagh - In a surprising move by the canteen company, all Heinz sauce has been sold off and replaced by YR. Industry analysts are surprised at the move and anticipate a sharp fall in stock prices. "This move makes them look very unprofessional," a leading analyst told me, "changing from one decent [sauce] to another looks like they don't know what the underlying [company] problems are."

The Canteen Company had no one available for comment on the sauce situation, but speculation is mounting that the sauce was changed on advice from one Russ Manning, and not anything to do with company problems. Russ has been getting things his way in the canteen for a while now, but is on holiday at the moment and was unavailable to give a statement to the Russ's being away is a good alibi for the sauce change over, as it looks like he had nothing to do with it. The mystery continues...

 That Wrecks Me Buzz

People going through their ring-tones in public
By Waltzer.

A cheeky WaltzerIf listening to someone's mobile phone ringing isn't bad enough, some people like to go through all their tones at full volume and in public.

Ok, you might like to define your cool little personality by choosing a ring tone that doesn't sound like a phone ringing, which is fine if you don't mind replacing your memory of that tune with an awful electronic beeping version. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your own business, but please don't inflict your annoying set of ring tones on the rest of us.

I first encountered this one early evening in a hotel bar. I couldn't believe that someone could be so ignorant in a public place where people are trying to relax. A bar member was collecting glasses and I expected him to ask the young chap to knock it off, but to my surprise, he said nothing. I've been kicked out of pubs of less.

The next time I saw this infuriating behaviour was on a bus just yesterday. A twenty-something guy and his girlfriend got on the bus singing. Pretty soon he was going through all his ring tones. I was trying to read, but the apparent randomness of each tone, it's length, and the desire for the guy to stop meant I couldn't read one word. I was going to ask him if he minded, but with the lack of chemical courage I resolved to stare at him instead. The guy in front of me joined me in staring at the perpetrator, who soon put his shiny new phone away and returned to his singing.

Now that wrecks me buzz.

Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall.