the waltzer experience :w: 

No artificial preservatives

week 118 : 30 April 2001

Joe: On his way into my bathroom
"Waltzer, you don't have a magazine do you?"

"Processing job from tray 2" - Printer
Keys found in toilet
"No Parking" sign cleverly vandalised to say "No Barking"

Wage Slave
The Discussion Board is down at the moment and unfortunately all the old posting have been lost.


Search through the archives.


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I'll mail you a preview of the Experience (almost) every Monday morning.

The Waltzer Experience is a weekly underground culture magazine which is viewed by lots of people in the House. If you have too much time on your hands you can send me your Wrecks Me Buzz, Top 10, news stories or whatever, to

Alan Wall is a graphic designer who's into photography, web design, writing and arranging parties.


2001 Spring Party announced

BandThe Pod - Preparations are underway to host another free bar party for the house. These company parties are notorious for the newer staff to get completely locked, after getting used to student sessions where you have to buy your own drink on limited budgets while trying to get as drunk as possible. A free bar seems like an offer that's too good to be true.

These parties also serve to bemuse the foreign employees who would rather get some extra money than be herded into a warehouse and given as much alcohol as they want.

Pictures next week, none the less, and keep an eye out for me, I'll probably be dancing away again.

Everyone checking where they live

MapWeb - A new website has come to the attention of the crew, This site is pretty amazing - you are presented with a map of Dublin or whatever city or town you like. If you keep zooming in, it turns into an aerial-view photograph of the area. Everyone has been on this site looking for their house and the office.


DangerHere boys on TV3

Ed LeahyTV Land - The latest cool site to come from the House, in case you didn't know, is This successful football site has KW celebrities Jody Fitzpatrick and Paul Little writing for it. One of the bosses of the site, Ed Leahy, appeared on national television last week to promote the site. He was interviewed by TV3's Aidan Cooney on breakfast show, Ireland AM. have a page on their site covering the media occasion.

New Traffic Web Cam lets ex-employees re-live the trip to work

Clonskeagh - A new web cam points down the main road to the complex so you can see bad traffic from your desk as well as from your car. Many ex-employees are also using it to see their friends (as two-pixel high figures) and re-live the trip to work that they must be missing now.

This week last year

NicoleIn last year's Waltzer Experience Pam gets engaged, Martin has a birthday, Stephen leaves and trying to get photos developed is wrecking me buzz.

 That Wrecks Me Buzz

The Demon Drink
By Waltzer.

Waltzer Bit of a mad night on Friday, after we finished up in mine at about 10.30 we hit The Madison, where I had another drink. Not that I needed one, I was well on at this stage. It was soon time to go and I found myself chatting up these two off-licence girls while buying a 3-Litre of cider and a box of 16 cans of Bud. I suddenly copped on that they probably get tanked-up losers chatting them up every night and I left with a bad auld buzz and a pack of Marlboro lights.

Off we went and I forgot the off-licence buzz when we arrived at the party. I set about drinking some of my beer, but the lads in the factory had filled all the cans with water as a joke. I was falling around and Andy told me to go upstairs and have a lie down. Good idea, but I would have preferred to go home at this stage.

I lay down for a while and was anxious to get going. I had a feeling Andy would be keeping an eye on the stairs so I couldn't try to escape. Then I had a flash of inspiration: that open window would be just the thing to make a quick getaway. So out I climbed with my box of cans onto the porch roof. Seeing the wheelie bin just underneath I lowered myself down so it wouldn't be too big a jump, and landed on it. I promptly started to run away but bumped into Martin, Gillo, Phil and some others who had been looking for the party. I told them that it was just there and I had just escaped. No one but Martin believed me (where did yiz think I came from?!) and checked if it was the party.

So I went back into the party with the others, picking up a traffic cone on the way and tossing it onto the porch roof just before Liam opened the door. Pretending I was coming in for the first time, I looked around innocently, much to the amusement of those who saw me there earlier. I attempted to chat to Phil but couldn't talk, so I told Jay I was leaving. Meself and Noddy headed out to go back to mine, Gillo was to follow with his girl later. I remember Liam coming out and giving out to me for leaving, but I can't remember what was said.

When I got home I set out a bed for Gillo, got meself and Noddy a pint of water each for the morning, turned my phone to loud, and conked out, waiting for Gillo to show up. Gillo had left his moped there earlier, along with his bag of clothes and stuff. I wake up later and it's 9.00 and I jump out of bed shouting "BOLLOX, where's Gillo?" After checking the bed (I might have let him in and forgotten), there was no sign, and his bike was still outside. Noddy left soon and Gillo rings me later. "Waltzer I was ringing your phone and bell and knocking and shouting for half an hour last night and neither you or Noddy heard me." Turns out the girl downstairs let him in and he was right in front of the door but couldn't get in. He ended up going home to Swords after waiting over an hour for a taxi and coming back the next day to pick up his stuff.

Now that wrecks me buzz.

Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall.