the waltzer experience



Super office fun, very popular model, you read you read!

ARCHIVES week 129 : 16 July 2001

Eileen a friend in Galway: To a guy that just grabbed her breast
"Just because I'm showing off half my tit, doesn't mean you can put your hand in and grope me"
Programmers reminisce on the Commodore 64 and the Sinclair ZX Spectrum
Why don't car-park users have to sign out?
Lunch menus still worth opening just to see ridiculous type colouring

Wage Slave
In Association with
Bill Bryson

A bit of an impulse buy at Amazon the other day, this book is really a portfolio of design consultancy, Yacht Associates. Designers, don't buy this book, it'll make you feel really bad about your portfolio. This book is inspirational and if you had half the stuff here in your portfolio, at half the quality, you'd be knocking back the job offers with a stick. Order this book or any book, CD or DVD today from Amazon. and support the Waltzer Experience.


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The Waltzer Experience is a weekly underground culture magazine which is viewed by lots of people in the House. If you have too much time on your hands you can send me your Wrecks Me Buzz, Top 10, news stories or whatever, to

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Alan Wall is a graphic designer who likes photography, web design, writing and organising parties.


Mark Farber previous life as porn star

Le Dog posterDubln - Shocking news hit the e-mail system last week as the news that one of the programmers was a porn star in a previous job.

"Yeah, I was programming the [credit card] handling system for this porn site," Mark Farber told our reporter, "And they were short a man one day, so I said I'd do it, it's no big deal."

But industry analysists are up in arms about the recent revelation. "We can't continue to pump money into a company that employs porn stars and such like in such important jobs as programming. "How do we know they won't code in a link to a porn site if they get pissed off with the company?"

Internally, the attitude is more relaxed. "Everyone knows [that] designers and Sims can do that just as easily, so I think the media attention is uncalled for," one male designer told us, "And I have to say I really enjoyed the series of pictures of [Mark] in the bath."


Shag all news this week

Clonskeagh - Despite great attempts by Waltzer to create or find some news this week, nothing has happened other than the share prices have jumped following the recent bout of good news. This week sees Mairead's birthday and the exams of the Dive Class club. Also newsworthy is the fact that the paintball at Crossfire in Kilternan is being proposed for this summer again. I was at it last year and it was a good laugh I must say, but I wasn't fit enough for all that running around. If you can, go, it's good fun.

Sorry for the delay last week, and also for the lack of change on the site the last few weeks. I have less time in the summer for all this. Sure even The Evil Gerald and The Onion closed down for a few weeks this summer, while we have been running right through. Stick with the Waltzer Experience, it's getting better! And I promise there'll be new pictures up next week.

This week last year

Last year Nice pictures of Deirdre's Last night and the Top 10 things that are good about work, which includes:

5. Breakfast
Full Irish breakfast served until 10.30. Nothing like it, but the lads are putting on weight after three solid months!

 That Wrecks Me Buzz

Moving out of Ranelagh

By Waltzer.

Soon I am going to depart from the fair village of Ranelagh, where I have been living for the last four months. I'm moving to Conyngham Road, next to the Phoenix Park, and I know I'll miss Ranelagh an awful lot. So much so that I have decided to do a Top 10 Things I'll miss about the place.

10. The Guinness in Birchall's
Birchall's have the Guinness waiting for your order when they are busy, and it always tastes marvellous.

09. Bumping into friends unexpectedly
Even this Saturday I bumped into Russ in Gorman's, and the odd time I've seen other friends knocking about.

08. Cool Neighbours
The people I know living in the gaff are sound. It's always cool to have someone to say hello to when you get in.

07. Easy to get a taxi
All I have to do to get a taxi is stand on the street and put out my hand, one comes. Magic.

06. Saturday breakfast at Gorman's
After a hard night drinking in O'Shea's, The Duke, Russell's, Hogan's or wherever, it's nice to get a large fry in Gorman's to kick off the weekend.

05. View of the street from the flat
From the flat I can see everything. I can people walking in and out of Ranelagh, the bus pulls up and I can stick my tongue out at the passengers, people calling into all the houses, cars going by with smiles in the windows…

04. Getting up at 9.00
Oh the pleasure of getting up every day when you are awake. I used to commute from Navan, which meant getting up at 5.40. Now I can stay up late and still be fresh the next morning when I get to work.

03. Quick walk to town
Being able to walk into town in 15 minutes is marvellous. One of my friends rings from town to go for a drink, I can be there very soon. Dead handy to get home too!

02. Russell's Balcony
Oh, the times we had on Russell's balcony, let me tell you! Actually, what can be said about it that hasn't been said on this site before?

01. Quick walk to work
And the thing I'll miss most is the 35-minute walk to and from work. If you have lived as far away as Bray or Navan, you'll know how awful it is at the end of the day, especially in the winter, to face that long, depressing journey home. That's why so many people in work live in the Rathmines/Ranelagh area. And that's why Russell's and Birchall's are cool, and why I bump into people unexpectedly.

Now that wrecks me buzz.

Waltzer Experience © 2000-2001 Alan Wall. The story about Mark Faber is fabricated, as are most unbelievable and riduculous stories on this site.