Is it hot in here or is it just my girls? Week 16 | April 2000

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Neil (on personal Internet use):
“What if you're caught with a small amount of Internet on you for personal use?”

-The tobacco's in, who's got the noobler lads?




I got 2 Doras Sham: ROCKS!


Pam Leaves

For various reasons, our beloved Pam is leaving. Pam did her job extermely well, and she leaves 50 people with the greatest respect for her. I am sure she will be a great asset to the next company lucky enough to have her grace them with her presence. Pam, we'll miss you loads, chicken. Keep in touch so I can hire you when I start my own company!

First Week In Da 'Skeagh

It was a very emotional day on Monday. All the crew back together fixing up their gear and all. I was so excited to see everyone again that I didn't know who to talk to first! I was running around like a kid on Christmas morning among all the different toys. Well it is good to have you all back, so to speak.

Galway Conference Special

The company are taking us to Galway. So next week prepare for the outrageous Galway Conference Special. The weekend documented in pictures and words! See the weekend unfold through the eyes of your favourite web celebrity, Waltzer. If there is any scandal, I'll have it. If there is drunken confessions, I'll have them. Remember, nothing is off the record- you've been warned! Check it out: Next week, only here on the Waltzer Experience.

God Love The Navan Crew

My Navan girls won't know what's going on with all this talk of me Knowledge Crew. Maybe I should make another site: The Waltzer Navan Experience. Hmmm... but then I'd have to go into Navan, and I don't know if it'd be worth it. I actually have some photos of a night out I had in Navan recently, maybe I'll put them up soon. Shout out to Hugh and John! I'd say hello to Murphy too if he would ever venture out into the virtual world. He tried to talk jargon with me the other day and said "I've got a conflict between my megadrive and my megahertz." I'd say you do, Al.

Remember the 5k competition?

Well some of the entries have been thrown up on the site: www.sylloge.com/5k. To remind you briefly, the contest required you create a website that was only 5k in size: pictures, HTML and programming. Some of the entries are really good. Amazing in fact. I love the art galleries ones. Mine is not there yet, but if you want to see it I have it here. If you know just how little 5k is, you'll be amazed at the functionality and imagery of these sites. Enough respect.

[featured site]

With Ali-W!*


Booyaka, Sham! Dis week I is bangin' on about a site that belongs to one of me main girls, Sally. She 'as set up dis web design company with 'er bro Alan, and it is called CubeWebDesign. So Sally: Cube Web Design, what's da vibe? Is you able to design webs?
-Well I will be looking after a lot of the graphic design issues, while Alan takes care of the HTML and business side of things.
-So if I was a big company and I wanted me a website, I would go to da Waltzer, no?
-No, you would come to us at Cube.
-But me hears dat da Waltzer is thinking of setting up a design house. Is you not competing wiv him?
-Well he hasn't set it up, has he?
-Aye, but I might hold off until he has, innit?
-Well if you can wait a year!
-Maybe I will go to you then. So Sally, maybe you might give me your number and we can get together, know what I'm sayin'?
-Aye, I mean about mes new website. wwf.ali-W.com. So Sally, big up to ya. Thank you for telling us about da Cube and keeping it real.
-Thanks, Al.
-Er, That's Ali-W.

[that wrecks me buzz]


Some goon: Hey George, have you heard about this new website, waltzer dot net?
Some gobshite: No, what's that?
Goon: It's a great new site where friends of this guy Waltzer can go and catch up on what's going on.
Gobshite: Wow! Sounds great. What's the address again?
Goon: www dot waltzer dot net.
Voiceover: Check out www dot waltzer dot net. It's a great resource for people who know The Waltzer. Subject to terms and conditions."

Radio ads wreck me buzz. They really do. They are the lowest form of commercial creativity there is. Every ad is the same: A couple having a friendly chat which paints the product in a good light, then a voiceover comes on to clarify that this product or service is actually available and not just two goons chatting.
Now there are some variations on this: Like the goons might have a very quick word at the end. Or perhaps they say something really stupid or controversial. But it is always the same rubbish.

Cheery woman: Let's start the day with sunflowers on the table!
D4 man pretending to be tired and confused: But it's 7am. The florist isn't open.
Woman: No, silly! Sunflower coasters free with Flora.
Waltzer: Would you ever feck off! Jayzuz!

God love us, they probably have a website to support this giveaway! No, I'm not going to link to it. You can waste your own time if you like!

And the voices are always the same too! You've got your usual 10 or so people all the time. Even when they need a black voice, or a Scottish or New York accent, you can always tell that it's the same Irish guy putting it on. I really can't bear some of these ads. They are painful to listen to. Yes, worse than the Vengaboys, who wrecked me buzz last week!

Now that wrecks me buzz.




*Conversation may not have happened.