Clickable! L-R: Hugh, Nev, John, Jenny, James, Cat, Cian.

THE ARCHIVES Listed menu: Easy to navigate. STATEMENT OF THE WEEK: Viv: (on inability to create music) "You haven't got half a semi-crotchet in your head". DROP US AN E: waltzer@excite.com AUDIOFIND GET MP3: The Waltzer Experience is sellotaped together by Alan Wall. © 2000 Alan Wall

Top 10: Rave Reviews I am glad to hear that you all enjoyed last week's Top 10. Viv had written it so well that no-one dared contest it! Some wondered why The Valley Cafe, Navan was not in it! This week Ger graces us with a great Top 10 list, which I am sure will be questionable, so I look forward to seeing your additions: Just drop them in the box next to the Top 10 and I will publish them next week. New Special: Web Construction People are always consulting me on Web issues, so starting next week, I am putting together a complete how-to of Web construction. Week 21: Designing a web page: Coding, WYSIWYG editors, testing. Week 22: Designing a site: Aesthetics, usability, common pitfalls. Week 23: Free web space, making money, advertising and search engines. Week 24: Professional hosting and domain registration. Unlike most of these instructional documents, I will not be giving vague instructions trying to please everyone. This one will use fairly exact examples that will work in Ireland. (Sorry Irish abroad crew!) Note: I won't be telling you why you need a site, just how to do it. It's not too hard, honestly! Navan Pictures As you are probably aware, this site has a posse in Navan, and every now and again I put up some pictures of out exploits in the fair town. So I'll do a big shout out to the Navan massive: Hugh "terrorism" McCabe, John "no tickets" Lynskey, Cat "Jimmy" Fitzsimons, Louise "hate Navan" Powell, Nev "party" Connell, Alan "megahertz" Murphy and the rest of yiz I can't remember. Oh, and Catriona "HR" Halvey. Wikkid.

Catchphrases Of the Knowledge Crew By Ger McCarthy 10. I Love the Artane Boys Band. Hmmmmm... John Owens on his favourite pastime. 9. C'mere to me chicken and gis' a kiss, smoooooch Sarah whenever she sees a man. 8. Are ya now ? Tom Keating when you tell him you are going somewhere, anywhere. 7. It's Friday, so clean out the fridge Pam on cleaning out the fridge every Friday 6. Ahh, Ahh, Ahh sure go on so, Aye, I'll have the one Phil Barrett having his arm twisted to go on the piss. 5. HEY, HEY, HEY, Buddy Boy, ya schlongo Russell Manning's way of saying hello. 4. Three F*ckin' Years !!! Cian Hegarty's response to EVERY question about The Knowledge House 3. Respect mee, Respect da famileee Viv Duignan resorting back to his Sicilian roots 2. FaFaFaFooooo, sh*te, call the guards Martin McCanney on about... God know what! 1. It's funny cos' it's truuuuuuuuue DJ Waltzer in The Comedy Club between comedians' sketches. Disagree with the Top 10? Throw your version of the Top 10 together and click "send". Next week you will see an average of the massive compared to Viv's.

Lack Of Taxis The lack of Taxis in Dublin and Navan wrecks me buzz. What sort of a country is it that when you leave the pub/club/cimema/restaurant, you can't get a taxi home and might have to wait up to an hour or even longer? The reason for the lack of Taxis is that the drivers union won't allow the government release any more licences. If they release 10% more licences, that cuts the drivers' income down 10%. Some drivers won't be able to live on that and will give up the trade. If they leave it up to supply and demand, the problem gets worse, and there still won't be enough cars on the road. So what to do? I consulted a taxi driver yesterday about it and he suggested that they review the alcohol licensing laws. If pubs didn't all close at the same time, the drivers would be better able to cope with the crowd throughout the night. This means less waiting time, which is the root of the problem. So, The Government, change those laws! Now that wrecks me buzz. Bookworm.ie If you enjoying looking at sites that belong to people you know, or are interested in books about Tipperary, then look no further than Bookworm.ie. Yes, this site is the brainchild of one Tony O'Brien. Bookworm is a site that sells books about Tipperary or by Tipperary authors. These books are not available from Amazon.com, so it really is the best place to go for this niche market. The site is easy to navigate and contains covers and notes of all the books it has. Tony tells me that they are looking into online ordering and in-house reviews. Nice.