WELCOME TO THE
WALTZER
EXPERIENCE


Sold Everywhere 5¢ Week 21 | May 2000

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THE ARCHIVES
Listed menu: Easy to navigate.

STATEMENT OF THE WEEK:
Viv: (on The Marching Season)
"I'd love to leave the country when The Marching Season is on... Or turn off the telly."

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The Waltzer Experience is manufactured by Alan Wall at Waltzer Development Labs International. Probably.

© 2000 Alan Wall

   

[news]

New: Web Construction Special

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Things Quiet on the Business House Front.

There's no point fooling you, there is absolutely nothing happening this week in the way of news! I did hear an unusual story though: Apparently there is a mailing group who call themselves KW Survivors who used to work for the House in Blackrock. They stumbled across The Waltzer Experience, and now check it on a regular basis. Well a big shout out to yiz all, it has to be said! Big up.

Feedback on last week's Top 10.

Thanks to Tony for this addition to Last Weeks Top 10 (Catchphrases of the Business House, By Ger):
Jodie: "I don't know about you guys, but I could eat a horse"
usually said after polishing off a pound and a half of rashers and sausages, a half-dozen eggs and three black puddings.

Three other anonymous suggestions came in:
Richard: You're a star!
Phil: Nothing to do with me.
Kevin: This is very challenging...

Thanks to all of you that sent stuff in last week. If you have anything to say about this week's, just put it in the box.

    Top 10

Knacker Drinking Areas
Navan, Mid 90's
By Waltzer

10. The Tracks
(Near Chadwick's)
More of a smoking and plotting to kill people place really, The Tracks was a good spot for a couple of two-litres. I remember trying to smoke tea with Jay here one time. And the amount of times I shifted Dee here is not right.

9. The Mill
(one for the hardcore heads, off the ring-road)
I feel a bit guilty putting this on the list as I never actually attended it's critically acclaimed acclaimed nights. I hear this place was where it was at back in '94. Unfortunately the place was burned down by vandals while my friends were drinking in it! (No-one was hurt!)

8. The Grotto
(Loreto Convent Girls Secondary School)
I only went down here a few times during a hot summer day. Some of the crew didn't fancy looking at The Virgin while drowning a couple bottles of ice-cold Bud.

7. The Mansion
(A.K.A. Blackcastle House)
The amount of days I spent down here drinking! The place was also burned out by vandals, but we went down none-the-less. I'll never forget the "Hairy Arse Competition" that Kevin Doherty held every year on his birthday. It's easy to win when you're the only entrant, Kevin!

6. Behind Curry's
(Market Square)
This pub Curry's had an auld secluded car park. At one stage in '96 you could go down any Saturday night and see about 60 kids all having a jolly old time drinking and smoking. One time the undercover came down and my mate Murphy said "Jesus, don't do that to me, I thought you were really a cop". He was let off with a warning. This place is covered with apartments now.

5. The Park
(Near the Loreto Convent)
I can't remember how many times I took the Shaz down here with a bag of cans and some ice-cream. How romantic! And I'll never forget Cat's birthday in December '96. There were icicles of beer on the table. Maureen puked on Ben, but it was frozen again it hit his legs. Last time I saw the park they had ripped it up for underground piping.

4. The Ramparts
(Near the Loreto Convent)
You'll still see the Loreto girls having an auld smoke here after school! This park was done up and made nice to walk in, so we used to bring down a few tins and look at the river. A great place to "get back with" your teenage girlfriend. Warning: Don't walk too far up the river, the sewerage treatment centre is down there!

3. The Mollies
(Over the river from the mill)
This place really rocked! I remember meself, Jay, Laura, Catriona and some other crew used to go down here with plenty of two-litres and chocolate every Saturday before we got jobs. One of the funniest was when we brought Helen down and it was her first time drinking. After half a bottle of straight Southern Comfort, she started waffling out of her all sorts of personal stuff. Poor girl. What a buzz we had down here in the sun though, lying on the grass, the sound of the river and the tunes from someone's walkman/speakers set-up. Too bad they built a road over it.

2. Behind Giraffes
(Kennedy Road)
This place saw us in a more mature light. We came here as we got older as it was near the pubs. Giraffes is a kids creche, and is only one of the shops that we were behind, but you know how places get named. Jesus, I remember meself and Cat puking into a cardboard box at the same time there! This is where I discovered that Harp is NOT a nice beer. They built a cinema overlooking it since.

1. Nev's House Parties
(Waterstown)
Now it has to be said that the best underage/non-pub venue back in the day was at Nev's house. For some reason, Nev and her family were always throwing parties, and this is where I had many adventures. Such as having my girlfriend killed, being hit over the head with a bottle by my girl, being persuaded to start DJing, shifting girls that were really too young (and falling asleep before anything went down!), getting kicked out of beds, drinking cider from the keg, and probably lots of mad shit that I have forgotten but the girls remember! And Nev's house is still intact, but I don't know if she'd be too receptive if you all turned up for a party.


Disagree with the Top 10?

Throw your version of the Top 10 together and click "send". Next week you will see an average of the massive compared to mine.


Send me your Top 10: waltzer@excite.com 

    [that wrecks me buzz]

"Useful" Bus Timetables

What is the story with Dublin Bus timetables? If I find myself in an unusual part of town and I need to get a bus somewhere, the timetable at the stop always tells you what time the bus left Town, or what time it left the last point out of town to come back in.

Hello? What use is that if I don't know how long the feckin' bus takes to get to me? I think the Irish Government is proud that Irish people are so well educated, and they do everything they can to encourage us to keep up our arithmetic skills.

You see, what you have to do is estimate the distance between you and the city centre bus stop. Then, allowing for traffic jams, guess what the average speed of the bus would be. This will give you the two figures you need to divide into each other to get the time the bus takes. Easy? I think not.

Even if you hazard a guess, you could be waiting around for 20 minutes either side of the estimated time to be sure, especially if it was an 84, 63 or 44, which only come once in a blue moon.

Why the hell can't the damn bus service get it right? When I go to a bus stop I want to know what time the bus will be there at. I don't feel like doing the maths in my head. I don't want to hang around for 40 minutes in case I miss one. I could go back to shopping or drinking or whatever I was doing. Dublin Bus are lazy. They could do the calculations once and have it on all the timetables. Is that too much to ask?

Now that wrecks me buzz.

[featured site]

Jackpot.com

[jackpot.com]

Check this out for a novel idea. At Jackpot.com you can play the slots all day for free if you like, and you could win big prizes. I am normally sceptical of prize-winning sites because there is usually a catch. This place is no different, but it's not signing away your soul or selling your first daughter...

No, this site replaces the cherries and sevens, bells and bars with advertisements of companies who sponsor the site. If you match up, say, three NetGrocer.com ads, you could win $8,000. A Chinese guy won $1m the other day.

Don't get me wrong, now. I am not going to use this site much if at all, but it is the idea that strikes me. It's like hamsterdance.com and the dancing baby: The net is the place to make your simple but effective idea explode, making you a millionaire in the process. Start thinking!