STATEMENT OF THE WEEK:
Alan: On girls' boots.
"Anything that goes halfway up the leg is good with me."
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waltzer@waltzer.net
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If you think you could write an interesting Top 10, Wrecks Me Buzz or a Special, then please let me know. External writers are strongly encouraged. Let's evolve the site together...
The Waltzer Experience is edited and largely created by Alan Wall.
© 2000 Alan Wall
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Company Lays On Free Party
The Company hosts a summer themed barbeque party. Free drink, food and "fun". When the Business House was independent, out in Blackrock, there was almost 100% representation of the crew. Now that we are a much bigger company, the enthusiasm is dismal. Turnout for the event was terrible, with the Business House only managing eight representatives. I don't blame yiz, either. If I was writing this a year ago, I would be giving out to you all saying how could you miss a free session and all, but now I know that free sessions are nothing to shout about, and it's time the company realises that you have to do more than throw drink at us to earn respect, build loyalty and enhance morale.
Wages Sorted Out
Well after all the giving out and complaining, they finally got their act together and sorted out out wages. Just to remind you, the desingers that came in from Blackrock were underpaid by industry standards, and we were on a lower scale than the designers in the IT house. After months of complaining to bosses, bitching in the canteen and pubs, and writing about it on my Buzz column, we were finally brought up to an acceptable level and scale. Thanks to everyone involved in fixing this problem.
It's My Birthday!
Tuesday sees The Waltzer turn 19, so if you'd like to go for an auld scoop, you're more than welcome. I will be in Ashtons in Da 'Skeagh from 5.30 till about 7.30, then we're moving it into Temple Bar for a tourism buzz. I don't know where in Temple Bar we'll be going, so give us a ring and I'll let you know.
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Assumptions you can make about free sessions.
10. You will see people you never saw before.
Is it even the right party? I don't remember seeing her before...
9. None of the top managers will come.
It's too tacky for you? You requested it! We like stylish and elegant parties too.
8. It's always easier to smuggle in your mate than you think it'll be.
You always think "I'd like to bring "Jimmy" or "Jackie", but you think you'll never get away with it, but there is never any real checks and no-one knows who anyone from other departments is.
7. I's never as good as you think it'll be.
You really have to assume these parties will be complete crap before you go if you want it to be better than your expectations. It's never as good as just going to the pub with your mates/work mates if drinking is your buzz.
6. Not everyone will come.
Just because the drink is free doesn't mean we will all run for it. I think we are a bit more refined than that.
5. Not everyone will get drunk.
Again, just because the drink is free, it doesn't mean everyone will drink too much of it. So waiting for a manager to make a fool of himself or waiting for a certain girl to become hopelessly drunk before you pounce is just a waste of time.
4. DJ Crap will be there.
"DJ Crap with you tonite, yeah. Here's a number for all you crazy cats out there, it's the Vengaboys. Get down with the groove, now."
3. The lads will smoke cigars.
"Yeah, man, I am well used to smoking cigars. I know I'm only 21 and all the lads are doing it, but I always smoke cigars."
2. Waltzer and Viv will be there.
No matter what the occasion, you can bet that meslef and Viv will be at it. Anything to do with the house you can trust us to keep it real by having the scoops for it.
1. Tokens will be disregarded.
They will issue you with tokens, which you will hoard all evening, but at about 10 or 10.30 they will announce that the bar is free and everyone will throw their remaining tokens away. (This is so people take it easy and don't get too drunk - if they think they can only have five drinks, they will pace themselves.)
Send me your Top 10: waltzer@waltzer.net
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Legalising Cannabis
I think Cannabis should be legalised. And I don't even smoke it. Ordinary people who smoke in their own homes and come to work the next day without any problem are deemed criminals in this and most other "civilised" countries.
The reason I don't smoke it is because it makes me lazy and forgetful. I am not a lazy person as far as my commercial and personal work is concerned, and I don't want to start. Also I have enough problems with a bad memory that I don't need to add to it.
But I still think it should be legal. It is a drug that does no more physical harm than alcohol does. It is relaxing and doesn't encourage aggressive behaviour like alcohol. It is not addictive. It is a natural drug, a plant that grows in the right environment, not a dodgy chemical concoction made in a bedroom somewhere.
If it was legal, it would be controllable. It would take some power from the street dealers and the importers. It could be taxed. It would free up the police to tackle real crime. You could be sure you are getting good quality Cannabis and nothing poisonous or spiked. It will de-criminalize the ordinary people who enjoy a bit like I enjoy a pint.
They say Cannabis leads to harder drugs. I don't think it does. Ask anyone who uses Heroine or Crack if they ever used Cannabis and they say they did. Ask them if they ever smoked tobacco or drank alcohol and they say they did. Then ask anyone who uses Cannabis if they ever drank or smoked tobacco and they will tell you that they did. Does this mean tobacco and alcohol lead to hard drugs? No. People can make decisions for themselves. I don't think it's up to the government to force people from taking a drug that is not as bad as some legal drugs.
If Cannabis was legal it would not be so mysterious to kids. It would be like fags. Kids try a fag, they might like it or might not. But whatever way, we are aware of the dangers and advantages, as we are with drinking, and we take it easy. We keep within our own personal limits. We know if we want it and we know if we have had enough.
One final point I have to add it the fact that Ireland can't legalise this drug on it's own. We need all the European countries to do it at the same time to prevent an influx of drug tourism like they have in Amsterdam.
So to summarise, Cannabis is not a dangerous drug. It should be legalised in all European countries at the same time to avoid drug tourism, control the quality, tax it, and to take power from the dealers. It is used by a huge number of ordinary decent upstanding people who would rather have no dealings with the underworld. Legal is safer.
Now that wrecks me buzz.
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