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STATEMENT OF THE WEEK:
Jub Jub: On Bill The Manager's leaving
"The buzz won't be the same again."
:ARCHIVES
Browse the archives.
:DROP US AN E
waltzer@waltzer.net
WRITE FOR THE EXPERIENCE
If you think you could write an interesting Top 10, Wrecks Me Buzz or a Special, then please let me know. External writers are strongly encouraged. Let's evolve the site together...
The Waltzer Experience is a weekly culture website and is edited and maintained by graphic designer, Alan Wall.
© 2000 Alan Wall
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New Content: Mo' Bia and Wage Slave
This week sees two new sections on the Waltzer Experience: Mo' Bia, Mo's recipe corner. Every week Mo will be supplying you with a new recipe which will build up to create a full meal.
There is also a new cartoon called Wage Slave, but the author wishes to keep his identity anonymous for the time being.
Finally, I would like to welcome a guest writer, Breffni O'Malley, who has contributed the best "Wrecks me Buzz" for a long time! Don't forget you can contribute yourself, just mail me with your idea or finished piece. I would be very happy to publish it.
Seamus Leaves
Seamus leaves the house this week. Seamus worked with us as an editor until he left on Thursday. Although I never worked with Seamus directly, I did get along well with him. So that brings the total of deserters to 13 since Waltzer.net started, 29 weeks ago.
Bill Leaves
Bill the Manager is "stepping down" from his position as Chairman of the Board. It's worth noting that the shares fell 23% within two days of the announcement. Get them while they're cold!
Home-made Burgers
Mo, my favourite multimedia chef, has contributed a few recipes to the Waltzer Experience. Send your feedback to her via the Suggestions Box.
Ingredients: pound of mince meat, one egg, pinch or two of mixed herbs, cup of breadcrumbs, chopped onion, salt & pepper
Method: Grill
Time: 12-14 minutes
Serve with :Tomato Relish, Bread.
01 Mix together all ingredients
02 Make into medium size burger balls
03 Cook on both sides for 6-7 minutes. Serve with relish.
Next week: BBQ honey sausages.
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Reasons Why Drink Should Be Served At Work
Bring out the barrells!
10. It's an incentive to show up.
9. It leads to more honest communications.
8. It reduces complaints about low pay.
7. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It makes fellow employees look better.
4. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are langers.
3. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
2. That big cupboard in the tea bay will finally have a use.
1. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
"sick."
Send me your Top 10: waltzer@waltzer.net
Got any comments for the Waltzer Experience?
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Airport Mayhem
Breffni O'Malley gives us the low-down on his recent ill-fated holiday.
Friday
1p.m. Arrive in Chicago's O'Hare airport-the largest and busiest in the world. In a few hours I'll be seeing old friends in the largest and busiest city in the world (nearly) - New York. Let the party begin!
2p.m. It's announced that the flight will be delayed 45 mins - no problem. Buy a cup of coffee, a magazine, and settle down to wait.
3.15p.m. After boarding the flight, the captain announces that there'll be a two-hour delay on the runway, as they wait for the weather to improve. Everybody groans.
5.30p.m. Captain announces that the weather is too bad, there will be no more flights to New York today, and he is heading back to the gate. Everybody groans again, one or two people howl.
7.30pm Back at the gate, the place is like a riot zone. After an hour of queuing, I have the following conversation at the American Airlines Help Desk. Where can I stay tonight? "We don't know." Will you pay for my accommodation? "No." Can you get my bag, so I can change my clothes? "No." So....what kind of help do you actually give here? I am silently handed a sachet of shaving putty, a toothbrush, and a plastic comb that breaks at the touch.
8pm Reach the top of another queue, and get booked on the 3pm flight the following day. Proceed to book a hotel room and go straight to bed.
Saturday
9.30am Arrive at the airport, there are thousands of people queuing, shouting, crying. I queue to be put on standby, and am placed 136th on the list.
11am The 11 o'clock flight leaves with three standby passengers. 3 down, 133 to go..
12pm. Hordes of people watch in horror as the screens displaying departure information start to flash up the word "cancelled," one flight after another. I watch as my 3 o'clock flight blinks, flickers, and dies..
3pm While queuing for two hours to talk an official, a Russian gentlemen raises his hands and shouts "I shoult haff broght my gun!" One or to people seem to consider getting it for him..
4pm Reach the top of the queue - all they have are 9 seats to somewhere called Newburg - a suburb about 70 miles from New York. "It's that or nothing, sir"- Not wanting to spend another night in Chicago, I'm forced to agree. I leave clutching the details of local buses and trains from Newburg to New York City.
7.30pm Arrive in Newburg. It's deserted. The airport janitor tells me that there are no buses or trains to New York on Saturday evenings. I feel like weeping into his slop bucket..
8pm Negotiate a cab fare for the 70 mile drive to NYC - it is so much money, I will have to drink water for the rest of the holiday...
10.30pm Finally arrive in NYC, two days late, tired and exhausted. Ring American Airlines to have them deliver my bag, and they say "What bag?"....and I haven't seen it since.
Now that wrecks me buzz.
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