It's too orangey for crows!   08 February 2005 | week 506

Main Photo

Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer
Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer
Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer
Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer Waltzer

Pictured top: Grafitti stickers are the new thing now; Heidi Hives, Scottish DJ; Postal disruption; Luke DJing at Barbeque in Niall and Steve's; Liffey at night; people cross the Ha'penny Bridge
2nd row: Carrie hides behind a book; Ruarai and Steve; Waltzer meets his twin; Welcome to Dublin Bus grafitti; Liam at McDaids; M&S Window
3rd row: Neon in London; Al smokes some crazy herbal bong thing in a pub in London; Ads on the Underground; Luke at the charity improv night; more comedians
Last row: Girls kissing (there has to be one!); Brian photographs more girls; ads in Temple Bar Background: Well done to Alan C, he was the first person to tell me the names of these famous people and won a bottle of wine! They are Bill Gates, Billy Conolly, Bill Clinton, Bill Murray, Billy Corgan, Billy Bob Thornton, Billie Piper, Billy Idol, Billy Crystal, Bill Bryson

Special Feature

Top 5 girls

Top 5 famous girls

It's been a while since I got the idea for this article, but I couldn't decide on the top five. Not that there are so many girls to choose from, but that there are so little. The following girls are the girls that if they are on telly I just have to watch them, they are the ones that I couldn't turn a magazine page without looking at them. Any other girls I can take or leave.

Surprisingly, given my penchant for younger ladies, they are ALL older than me, and only one is in her 20's. I must be maturing! And no, Angelina Jolie isn't in the top 5, while she may be beautiful, she doesn't excite me like these girls do.

Who would have come next? Probably Rhona Mitra (the original Lara Croft), Mila Jovovich (From L'Oreal and the fifth Element), Lacey Chabert (Party of Five), Natalie Portman (Star Wars), and Kylie Minogue.

1. Claire Forlani
Gorgeous eyes
33, Actress, English/Middlesex
You've seen her in: Meet Joe Black
Quote: "Style and fashion have never been in the forefront of my attention. I was one of the few who was so grateful to be able to wear a school uniform. I'm not a big mirror person. When I'm not filming I pretty much avoid looking in the mirror. I spare myself. When you're filming, it's all very focused on how you look, especially if you're a girl. So I give myself a break."

2. Liv Tyler
Fantastic lips!
27, Actress, American/Maine
You've seen her in: The Lord of the Rings
Quote: "I've been told that if I'd lose weight I'd have more work, but I refuse to submit myself to those standards. To the rest of the world, I'm slim, and I like the way I am."

3. Kate Moss
Consistently beautiful
31, Model, English/Surrey
You've seen her in ads for Louis Vitton, CK, YSL, Versace, Gucci…  
Quote: "I don't think about me being a desired woman, or as being talked about, because that would make me paranoid."

4. Lucy Liu
Fantastic eyes
37, Actress, American/New York
You've seen her in: Charlie's Angels, Kill Bill, Ally McBeal
Quote: "Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend."

5. Fairuza Balk
Quirky choice but she can look fabulous at times
31, Actress, American/California
You've seen her in: Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, Almost Famous
Quote: About breast implants: "I hate them. I think they're evil. Just imagine if anyone ever tried to exhume your body in 20 years all that they would find is a pile of dust and two bags of plastic silicone...gross."

Agree? Disagree? I'd like to hear your opinion. Send your comments to waltzer (at) gmail.

Top Stories

In praise of Dublin Bus

Fair play to Dublin Bus! It's not often I say that, but they have increased the usability of their timetables no end. You know the timetables say what time the bus leaves the terminus. Well that's useless unless you know how long it takes to get from the terminus to your stop. Commuters don't have a clue in the majority of cases, not to mention tourists. It always frustrated me and I was thinking that the only way around it would be to do separate timetables for every stop, which would be very expensive and a logistical nightmare. But Dublin Bus have come up with a system that is cheap for them and extremely useful for us. They have added a guide telling you how long the bus takes to get from the terminus to the next major stop. For example, on the 16A it might say Lower Rathfarnham to Terenure, 10 mins; Terrenure to Harold'd Cross, 5 minutes. So now you can gauge how long the bus will take to get to you. It doesn't make allowances for rush hour but it's a welcome addition to the previously useless timetables.

Dublin Bus Logo New and OldBy the way, what do you think of Dublin Bus' new logo? I didn't like it at first but its grown on me, it's very clean. Italics don't suit it, it detracts from the original concept. And orange and yellow are pretty nasty, blue and white is a winning combination. (I should know, nearly all my corporate work is blue and white!) I've always admired clever logos, Dublin Bus logo particularly. You probably know this if you are a logo junkie like me, but it's made of a combination of a castle, a route going around the castle, and the route is in the shape of the letters 'db'. Very cool!

Fun and games

Separated at Birth

Separated at Birth is back! Left to right, Finbar Lynch from RTE's 'Proof', Hugh from company P.

Hugh and Finbar look alike

Pubcrawl coming up

I've been in negotiations with Luke to organise and document another pub crawl similar to last year's pub crawl. Suggestions for pubs and questions for the questionnaire are welcome! It will probably be March 5th so anyone who wants to come, keep that weekend open!


I was out in Whelans recently. Man, that place rocks. Non stop indie and rock music, from Jet to Snow Patrol and Counting Crows. The energy of the place is infectious. I don't know why I don't go more often! Really cool crowd too.

I arrived thinking just Brian and Molly were there, but then Jenny and Marie were there so that a bonus! Next thing we went upstairs and Steve, Luke and Niall were there. It was great fun, dancing all night.

The next night in the Odeon was some contrast, they'd be afraid to dance in there in case they ruffled their nice shirts or cracked their face with a smile. The gang I was with made our own fun in there, so we had a good time.



As you might know, Apple launched the Irish version of the iTunes music store after initial problems with the IMRO. If you are sick of not being able to find those niche or retro tunes, then you'll welcome this breath of fresh air.

After I set it up I was happily downloading tunes I had been looking for for years, at only 99c a pop! I got some cheesy singles alright: When Smokey Sings, Out of Touch and Kids in America, but also some classics: Cars, Alive and Kicking and a few new singles like Kylie's I Believe in You. Highly recommended, especially if you have an iBook with AirTunes wirelessly beaming the songs to your amp and speakers! Happy days!


Dublin photos, old and new

Fantasy Jack Palance's photo archive is a fantastic collection of photos of Dublin city and county taken over the last three or four years. It's arranged fairly haphazardly, but that allows for some variety and surprise when you see photos you weren't expecting.

While we are on the subject of Dublin photos, have a look at the National Photographic Archive's Dublin photographs. The site is only being populated so there are a few gaps and the interface is a bit dodgy, but the photos are a fascinating insight into our city over the last century. You can find more specific photographs by doing a keyword search.

Super High Resolution photos

Check out the Gigapxl Project. These guys invented an incrediblly hi-rez camera and took photos of sights in America. The site shows the photo and some close ups showing details you wouldn't imagine are there. It's truly impressive.


I have been meaning to add this site for some time. Phil Barrett's spot-on cartoons depicting the daily grind of life. You might remember Phil from the Wage Slave cartoons that once appeared here on

That wrecks me buzz

Broken windows in town

There are a lot of broken glass windows around the city centre at the moment. One of the nice things about the city at night, particularly around Dame Street and George's Street, is that the shops don't have metal shutters over the windows. The damage might have already been done though, as it's cheaper to install ugly shutters than to replace broken windows time and again. So if the selfish vandals that are breaking windows at night are reading this - stop, you're ruining it for everyone! We have a lovely city, lets not hide it behind shutters. (And stop writing on The Bank bar and other beautiful buildings - keep it to derelict shops and builders partitions please!)


Hope you enjoyed this action packed! Come by next month for more crazy antics.



Six years of!
2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000



Wage Slave
Kaner Memories



Waltzer: I don't know why lads overclock their chips
Bill: Cos they can't get laid?


Germs as pixels
Germs depicted as pixels

Relax the cacks

Once cool camera now uncool



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Waltzer is a graphic designer who lives and works in Dublin. He likes being upstairs on the bus on his own and drinking in the Porter House.
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